January 12, 2012
Today is my lovely little sisters 13th B-day :) And being the best big sister ever... I forgot. :/ OKAY, so I'm not the BEST big sister, but once I figured out that all the "Happy Birthday" texts weren't for me, I went out and got her the best present ever! Yes, I did. I got her a candy bar. What 13-year-old doesn't like a CANDY BAR? At 13 that's all I wanted... My sister is posting up on her facebook (which, if you ask me, she shouldn't have unti;l she is almost 18...) That she just can't wait to spend her B-day with "my yummy-lishious, super sweet BF!" BF???! That better mean best friend.... When I was 13, that's what 'BF' meant. Yummy-lishious? Shae, that's NOT a word... Silly. And unless your lesbian, you shouldn't be calling your best friend... Yummy-lishious! It's awkward... For everyone... Especially me.
I really enjoyed the look on my sisters face when my mom told her she WAS NOT getting a new cell phone.... It was a mixture between "I'm going to get killed by a man wearing a nun-mask" and " I just sh*t myself because I forgot I ate a whole piece of laxative chocolate." It was histarical. Well, it was, until my mom heard me laughing very loudly from my room in the basement, and told me that I wasn't getting a new phone for my B-day either... NOT FAIR! (My B-day is Feb. 5th... Just sayin') Then me and my sister cried together to an overly played commercial with Drew Brees.
Today I found out I can't go to see my real dads side of the family... I flipped. I started crying, and punching stuff... I reminded myself of a two-year-old, and once I realized that I started laughing histarically... Which, I assume, made me look like a psychopath, because after that... My mom said "we really need to start getting you into some kind of counseling." I do not need counseling!!! I just need my blogs, my books, and my friends. I'm perfectly content on my computer, reading my books, or just chilling with my friends... But no phone?! BULLSH*T! Booooowwwwllll----sssshhheeeeeet! Not cool. I hope my mom is reading this!
Mom, I find it highly unfair that I am not getting a phone... I'm almost a grown woman! I need it.... I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed IT! Ugh. Fine. Don't get me a phone.... But I'm not letting you use my hair straightener that you just figured out how to work! HAHAHA...HA!
Anyways.... I hope There is a way you can leave comment on this, because I wanna hear everyones funniest/worst/best birthday stories!!!.... If you can't comment, please, someone speak up! EMAIL ME :)
January 13, 2012
So last night me and mom got into it about some dumb sh*t.... She is sending me to live with my real dad in a HUGE city with people I don't know. I'm so scared :( Like I was cool with it when I was mad at her, but now I realize that I will miss my mom and sister a lot. I know I say I hate them, but I really don't.... I just don't know what to do!!!! :( I love my dad and my step-mo and my new sister, that i just met. Idk... Next time I will watch what I wish for... eh?
So now that I got out all the depressing stuff... I wanna tell you about my big sister Tiffany (Name has been changed) who is 19... almost 20... and act like a cokedout- 10 year old. She is the funniest person I have ever met! The first day I met her my step mom thought it was necessary to tell me she has raunchy farts (in the middle of walmart) lol. So get this, my mom has and older daughter, who lives in NY. I met her last year and she was NOTHING like me... Like scarily opposites haha.... And my dad has a daughter who I just met a couple weeks ago and we have so much in common. We watched "Human Centipede" the grossest thing ever.... But when the nastiest, scariest part came on, we both made jokes....
The three people are sewn together face to butt... the guy on the front, only one who has an open mouth and can eat. Well, the crazy doctor gave him food to make him sh*t, and he did... hahaha. Right in the girl whose mouth was sewn to his butt. The first thing he said when he realized he had to poop in a girls mouth? "oh sh*t" HAHAHAHA.... We laughed so hard... Because he said "oh sh*t" and then pooped in a girls mouth! It was hillarious. And then when the movie was over I stood up and said "My butt hurts :(" (I was sitting on the floor) and my sister, still cracking jokes about the movie says, "My mouth hurts" Hahahaha, funny, right? Well I thought so! I laughed for a long time.
So I have a foot-phobia. (I hate feet, and my feet being touched.) My sister on the other hand loves to give mani/pedis. So after she was dont doing my nails (which looked better than the pros) she insisted to do my feet.... The first thing she said when I took my socks off was... "awww, you have cute feet!" YUCK! Feet are NOT cute... HA, but I let her do my toes... Well try to, because I had black nail polish on that wouldnt come off. So she just added glitter haha. We joked the whole time about how funny it would be if my foot had a spasm and like kicked her in the face. (well I thought it would be funny...) We joked about everything all night, smoked cigs, and ate Christmas chocolates. IT was the best time I had ever had sober. It really made me regret the nasty things I had done in my past..... I love her :)
Tell me about the scarriest and funniest times you have had with someone you just met!!! :)
January 15, 2012
So sorry I didn't blog yesterday, I was with my best friend. She is like... I don't even know. You know how everyone has that one friend that they can share anything with? Well, that's her to me... I love her :) I'm still not sure why she is my friend though. I beat the sh*t outa her when we are screwing around... (not literally) But she is a tough cookie.
Last night I did her hair and make up... And then we took like a million pictures on her camera (which I am jealous of) and made videos... Funny thing; I wook off my tee so I only had a tank top on, put some grandma chonies (means underwear) and pulled them up to my bellybutton, with my tank top tucked it... She thought it was so funny that she did that same thing. Well she has a WAAAAY bigger butt than me so when she did it, the grannies went right up her butt... Lol, it was so great. We put pillows over our heads and danced for her camera. Best videos oever.... Then we took a video of her laying on the bed and me running and jumping onto her legs.... When I saw it I couldn't help but think that it's going to be one of those videos that we are going to look at in 50 years, and remember why we are best friends. I go back to school tomorrow :( Bleh, I seriously have a very low tollerance for school, but it should bring some good blogs, eh?
**Write me and tell me about your best friend, and the best times you guys had :)